The Great Debate Lives On by Kara Riccitelli

"The Great Debate" Lives On By Kara Riccitelli I’m what you’d call a “working mom.” But that label has always bothered me. If you’re a mom, isn’t it a given that you’re always “working?” It’s the Great Debate; everyone’s always talking about the merits of being a stay-at-home mom versus a working one. I don’t think anyone can or will ever be able to answer the question of which is better; all I know is my own personal experience, and what has worked out best for me and my family. I have two little girls (ages 2 and 4), one husband, and a house that is too small and is always bordering on messy. When we decided to have a baby, I was a career girl. I had risen through the ranks and been promoted to manager of my department. From the beginning, I knew that my work schedule was going to be a problem. There was no way I could work 45 hours a week, and my husband more than 50, without utilizing some form of child care. Our parents weren’t retired, and we had no one else in our family available to help us out. I couldn’t see the point of working so many hours, being away from my baby, and having my entire paycheck go toward daycare. When we sat down and crunched some numbers, my husband and I decided it would work out better for us if I were to give up my management position and begin working on a part-time basis after the baby was born. It’s a sacrifice and a blessing, working part-time. I sacrifice time with my husband, as we work opposite schedules. However, we don’t have to pay for child care, and our children are always with a family member, which makes us feel much more comfortable. There are so many other couples in the same situation; trying to decide whether to work or stay home. Heather Finsley, of Columbiana, also decided to trade in her full-time position for a part-time one, after the birth of her daughter. She has since had a second daughter, and has worked out a schedule that benefits her family, which includes working on weekends and early in the mornings before her husband needs to be at work. She says there are many benefits to working alternate schedules, such as not having to pay for child care. “My husband gets to spend invaluable time with our daughters that he otherwise wouldn't,” she adds. On the other hand, says Finsley, “It does cut into the time that my husband and I have together, and that can be rough. I only work Monday, Friday and Saturday – I don't think I'd be willing to make that sacrifice five days a week.” And it is a sacrifice – no matter what you decide to do. Most parents will sacrifice time with their kids, if they choose to continue working; or they’ll sacrifice money and possibly time with their spouse, if they don’t. I’m with my girls every day, and am so thankful for the time I get to spend with them: playing, reading, learning, laughing. I wouldn’t trade it for the world. Our children are our priority now, and even though continuing to work is a reality for both of us, we’ve now found the perfect balance between work and home.